Where Awards Usually Come to Die

February 3, 2013 By

blogger1

Tyroper was very kind to pass on to me this golden award. I have one just like it in silver. I think it’s a trend to mix silver and gold jewelry, but I could be behind since I don’t usually wear jewelry. Thank you, Ty. I am glad you like what you read here. I know awards usually stop here when it comes with me. I am horribly lazy at collecting gems to give the award away to. I also fell into the belief of thinking of them as chain letters. Well, I have figured out for myself in the last 30 seconds of composing this that it’s a load of crock  crock of shit (I was tired when this post began) made up by horribly lazy people like myself who do not want to take the time to appreciate and be appreciated. If you want to be professional, you can relate this as to being at one of those mega conventions and your booth only has 250 favors to pass out and network. WordPress makes blogging a social network. They are tricky like that. It’s old school to be a Dooce. And harder than ever since platforms like this. I write on a whim. I am serious in saying that I am horribly lazy. There are people who research and rewrite and edit and stew over their posts before making them live. Freaky shit, I know. But if you can do that, you can pass around an award to make someone else’s day a little brighter and to let them see you care further than, “yo this shit you just posted here, this shit is tight yo.” Or [insert clicking like button here]. Lazy freaks. Long story short, the award is not dying here today.

Here are the rules of the award:
1.) Display the award logo on your blog.
2.) Link back to the person who nominated you.
3.) State 7 things about yourself.
4.) Nominate 15 bloggers for this award.
5.) Notify those bloggers of the nomination by linking to one of their specific posts so that they get notified by ping back.

7 things you need* to know

  1. I dig fruity baby food. Especially banana. 
  2. Most everything I complain about with other people I have been guilty of myself.
  3. I talk more shit about the people I love than I do of the people I loathe. Case in point: Alice. If you keep up with me you’ll notice once the friendship took a momentary pause that I thought was a forever pause, I stopped talking about her. Exception: My mother. You don’t talk shit about the people who brought you into this world and can easily take you out. Exception to the exception: My father.
  4. I need to learn how to break big goals into smaller goals so I stop the cycle of thinking it’s impossible and giving up.
  5. I can recognize a lot of things I need to do and because of this I think I don’t need therapy, but question if that means the exact opposite.
  6. I am terrible at planning. I don’t like to feel locked in and if I fail, I would disappoint others which would cause me further disappointment.
  7. I have never been married and I am not sure if I ever want to be. Some will take this as me having a negative opinion on marriage. That’s not the case. Some may take this as me having a fear of commitment. It’s not a fear more than it is I have had more than a few serious relationships, I barely make it to 2 years how the hell could I do until death do you part? I don’t believe in divorce for myself. It happens, but if I marry that man better know he is stuck for life. Unless he does something catastrophic then my ass will be at the court quicker than you can say flies on shit.

15 Blog Nominees

1. AliceAtWonderland
2. NotQuiteAlice
3. CrankyGiraffe
4. TishMoon
5. Jet @ SustainablySinlgeParenting
6. WhiskeyInTheAM
7. ExileFromHysteria
8. Rarasaur
9. J.E Lattimer
10. FrontRangeScribbles
11. MerBear74
12. Rohan7things
13. Jaschmehl
14. TeenyBikini
15. ABoldPerch

This is in no way an attempt to show favoritism and I want it known that I love you all. You are all inspiring, but it didn’t say infinite and one of my things I need to learn is to accept being limited so this kind of works for me. One small step to most, one huge leap for me.

_________________________

*need is very relative here and can be replaced with, “Could have lived the rest of your life very happily without knowing anything on this list.” But that’s just too much to type. Plus, need is persuasive. It pays to persuade. (Not really unless you’re in the biz. Biz example: hooking.) 

Filed Under: Personally Me, Ridiculousness Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How to Annoy Me

January 23, 2013 By

This post I wrote here was me poking fun at the English language. Apparently because I think a ‘z’ looks better than an ‘s’, I am part of these Americans who “butchered” the English language — I have made up words, but I guarantee they are not in the dictionary. Well, I am sorry if for slang I’d rather say ‘cig’ than ‘fag’ for cigarette. I am sorry I don’t like the look of black jeans. I am sorry that I prefer chocolate ice cream over plain vanilla. I am sorry if I sexually prefer men over women.

Am I really sorry? No, because I believe people are allowed to feel, think, wear, say whatever the hell they want. If you have an issue with this, take it up with someone who can actually do something for you; you’re barking up the wrong tree here.

Oh, and I am a VERY PROUD AMERICAN. I’d rather live here and be part of this country than anywhere else, excluding Italy (pack my bags). So smack talking about where I come from, not smart.

Little Suggestion: If you disagree with someone on something, be diplomatic about it. Don’t throw rocks and share your article like you’re the almighty being of knowledge. I have no desire to read it now, whatsoever. But I’ll leave it up just incase someone else wants to learn from your holiness. Or wonders who the hell I am talking about. Good day.

Related articles
Filed Under: Annoy Me Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

You’re doing it wrong!

January 23, 2013 By
Not Me

Look @ my bod, I workout!

This is an expert right here. Yes, I did just steal a Facebook ”Friend’s” photo off Facebook with her included message to post on my blog for anyone to see. Yes, it was marked friends only. But 2 things: I am not revealing her name nor am I going against any copyright law. She took the risk of posting to Facebook. With that aside…

So it was originally my belief that people joined and paid a monthly stipend for gyms to workout. Get fit. Exercise. Be healthy. I did not realize they paid to judge other people on attire and form and tattoos! Least we not forget the tattoos. Obviously people get tattoos just to impress others, or just this chick. It couldn’t possibly be anything more personal than that. They totally got the tattoo with just you in mind. Suffice to say, I’m not so impressed with your tattoo. Should you care? Not if you got it for the right reasons. Shouldn’t bother you a bit what I think.

Attire? Where’s your cute, impressive gym attire? I don’t see you donning any cute Fila, Adidas, or Nike wear. Just saying. You obviously believe people need to come to the gym to impress you. So why are you not impressed with those who are trying hard to workout? How dare they workout with A+ effort.

I am pretty sure the person with the poor form isn’t focusing on impressing you. They are doing it either the way it was taught to them, how others have proceeded to do it, trying to learn how to do it, or doing it that way because it’s what is comfortable to them.

Seems like Planet Fitness isn’t a good fit for you since it’s adamant about being a judgment-free zone. Maybe you belong at Gold’s … though they could very well judge you since you don’t look like you workout all that hard. Yeah, read the little comment where you talked of having been a member to many gyms. It doesn’t show.

Last little thing that bothers me, since you think what bothers you is so important, #hashtags are for Twitter, not Facebook. It would be understandable if you had your two accounts linked, but you posted this directly to Facebook so it looks dumb. I’m so not impressed.

God, that felt good. It’d feel better if I could make a snide remark to her, but I am a slight believer in that gangster motto, “If you don’t start no shit, there wouldn’t be no shit.” You have to choose your battles.

Related articles
Filed Under: Annoy Me, Ridiculousness Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

‘S’ or ‘Z’

January 22, 2013 By
english language logo

english language logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

analyse analyze
idealise idealize
apologise apologize
realise realize

& the only word in which seeing an ‘s’ doesn’t bother me is ‘demise’ because demize doesn’t look right. I suppose the ‘s’ is used by most non-Americans and I truly hate to say this, but you’re doing it wrong. Though, I find it ironic that we managed to replace ‘s’ for ‘z’ in all those words, but left demise alone. Since ‘s’ is so soft wouldn’t it then be pronounced de-mice? I’m also flummoxed* the ‘z’ didn’t get to stretch as far as being placed in other words: because, as, does, was, is.

I think this is why the English language is one of the hardest languages to learn. It makes no fucking sense. Debauchery is pronounced de-bok-ory. In most any other word ‘ch’ is soft like in ‘changes’ not hard like a ‘k’. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

There are a shit ton more nuances, but in reading, it feels so wrong to see any of the words in the above list spelled with an ‘s’. It sticks out like a sore thumb and I just wish I could correct it sometimes (read: every time). You don’t look right, you don’t feel right so you must be wrong.

Maybe I’ll just learn Italian and move to Italy. Yes, all because of a language and its nuances.

____________________

*Inserting a $10 word in a $2 slot just because I can.

Related articles
Filed Under: Debatable, Mini-Post Edition Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Set Adrift

January 21, 2013 By

When did it change? Or really, when did I change? I don’t think it was overnight, but I can’t trust myself enough to really know that. What I do know is I used to be that girl who was down to get high.

The whole reason I got up every morning, went to work every day was all for the joy of coming home and getting baked on the couch. My body would ache from the tension and stress of work so bad, that not Advil and a hot bath would help. But once the lighter hit the bowl and the effects crept up, I’d feel no pain.

Now I don’t do that. Now Mary Jane bugs me out in a wicked way. With malice. Sometimes I can’t even remember what she felt like when I was in love with her. Maybe because my last futile attempts gave me a heavy high, wicked paranoia, panic, and stress.

Now who am I? I am the girl who has a hard time being around those who get high. It’s beneath me, I suddenly have lost all understanding for it. That’s kid shit. What’s wrong with you or your life that you cannot be sober? You’re weak.

You’re right. I don’t have room to judge. But I am right, too. I am right because I was there. I have all the room in the world to judge. But this is not a lecture. I am not a sponsor of Just Say No or Above the Influence. If you want to smoke the shit, then do it up. Smoke a bowl or 2 for me.

Filed Under: Personally Me Tagged With: , , , ,
« Older Posts
Newer Posts »
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 417 other followers

%d bloggers like this: