Bitter

This blogger’s block is making me quite bitter. I am beginning to feel like it will never let up.

Have hope.

Hang in there. 

Sweet sentiments, really, but I have this ungodly feeling that my ability to blog has gone for good. I also have a sinking feeling that my medications have something to do with it. All creativity has abandoned me and it was what I had that gave me sustainability to handle life. My life.

In other news, D got me a new laptop so I am pretty pleased and grateful about that. Unfortunately it doesn’t conquer blogger’s block like I had hoped it would. I’m not kidding. I thought it’d be my cure-all, but no. It just sits here and looks pretty while I checkout Facebook and you bloggers which I love and begrudge all the same — begrudge because you can blog. Don’t take it personal.

Love you all.

 

 

Blogger’s Block

I have an extreme case of blogger’s block and it is becoming insufferable. It’s unfortunate that my mental stability highly depends on the ability to blog whatever is on my mind and as of now there is nothing more on my mind than this. I’ve looked into prompts, articles (non-newsy), and Facebook to see if anything would strike. As we see here, it obviously hasn’t.

I have even combed over past posts to see what I tended to blog a lot about and that helped nil. I am not the blogger who sets up posts in advanced or writes notes on things I should blog about. I am as spur of the moment as they come. Organization is not key for me, though it probably should be. I also find it funny that in a guest post I did on Rarasaur’s blog, I mentioned I was like a few female comedians (I’m really not) sans the political rants yet a lot of posts from last year dealt with political controversial topics. I’m a walking contradiction.

In  conclusion, I am so done with this block. I don’t know if it’s the new medications, the fact I just got my brain back from a full-blown psychosis or it’s that time of the month — yes, I just went there. But if you have any suggestions for me or want to share what works for you, I’d greatly appreciate it. Love you all.

 

Diffident

<3

<3

By context she obviously means definitely. I just love when people mess up words and make a word that’s a little odd and a little fun to say. Stop. Stop… STOP! I know I said people need to spell things correctly and that it irks me when they don’t, but please don’t fail to realize at one point I told you I was a big contradiction. OK the air is clear. Where was I…

Yes. So when I read this I see a mash-up of different & evidently. Now I am not quite sure how we can use those two words mashed-up in a sentence. That will be trial and error.

Alice and I had lunch today and it was awesome. We went to my little sushi place and it was empty. It felt like we owned the place. And although it’s my place, I don’t go there as often as I used to and every time without fail the lady remembers me. I say the lady because it’s be a couple of years since I knew her name.

So we lunched there today and talked about everything. It was awesome and I was proud at myself for not being as negative on her choices as I usually can be. I did say how I felt, just with less venom for Dipshidiot.

I went a little far on here about how I felt for Alice. OK I went extreme. I feel she didn’t deserve the majority of what I said. I feel that my hatred for Dipshidiot leaked onto Alice so the real shitty shit that shouldn’t have been expressed on a public platform. I forget everything I said, but honestly as much as she makes some crazy choices, I have made my fair share and have plenty more to make.

I really do love her and that’s probably why when I get disappointed because she’s not living up to the potential I see in her I am really harsh. Sometimes looking back I wonder if in a previous life I weren’t a drill sergeant or something.

I laugh more with Alice than I have with any other friend. No lie. She is seriously funny and quick-witted. She is tougher than I have seen in most of my friends, even in her vulnerability you can see her strength.

I do have the inclination to go redact and erase, but those words are a part of me. They were what I felt at the time and I need to stop erasing parts of me that I don’t like or I feel ashamed of. I have never been able to keep a journal and that is why. The girl in the journal doesn’t match the girl I show to everyone else. I am done living like that.

With Miss Flighty, I do still feel that way about her. I cut her off when she texted me to confront me on a post I made on FB shortly after we had The High Life conversation. I made a simple sentence about how people need to think before they speak. What she said was senseless and flippant. She told me that real friends “check each other” . I am so far out of the loop, my mom knew what she meant and had to tell me what it meant.

I don’t “check” (confront) people who say stupid shit because then it becomes a bigger situation than need be. They end up trying to explain what they meant which is usually them just twisting shit around to make you think it was your fault for how you heard the information. That’s bullshit. So I expressed a one line frustration on FB and let it go.

She keeps at me texting me all this shit about being a punk and being childish and I’ll be honest, I was playing dumb because I didn’t want to hear her shit. She said something that tipped me off and made a light bulb flicker in my head. What she said I remember being real insulting, but I forget what it actually was so I texted back about now I knew how she really felt and that she need not call me because this was no longer a working number for her. She blew.

Cursing and saying all this ugly shit so I deleted the thread. I deleted and blocked her on FB. I deleted every photo of her and her daughter. And then I deleted her number. Poof! Just like that.

I was very proud of the fact that I didn’t curse once. Not even a damn. You know I am done when I don’t use my pretty colorful language on you.

Diffident (dif•fi•dent);

1. Modest or shy because of a lack of self-confidence.

Evidently it’s already a word. That’s some bullshit. No wonder I liked it though. I did the same thing in high school. Sitting under the bleachers with a couple of friends using rocks to write on the sidewalk (don’t act like you haven’t ever done that) and I was trying to write Deftones but I stopped at ‘deft’ because my hand got tired (I was lazy  — this is Florida, the land of humid heat — it was 78 degrees today fyi) and so I decided that was going to be our word. I look it up later only to realize it is a word. I am incapable of making up words. I blame school.

Grammar Nazi

Because it's a cat it's less offensive. I shit you not.

Because it’s a cat it’s less offensive. I shit you not.

Facebook can get away with anything it posts unless it’s really crude like a pantiless crotchshot, which it could if no one reported it. I am sure a lot of straight men would dig it. I almost said something else, but I would have made not only the image I chose offensive, but then the following words could have really thrown you into a tizzyfit. *** that shit up. See? This is before coffee, mind you. I am lucky I caught that at all. So I didn’t make this image, I collect memes and if they don’t have the credit on the image, that is their fucking bad, not mine.  I have never read the ToS or P&P on FB, but in my mind of complete common sense, anything posted on Facebook is fair game. It’s the cesspool of image thievery so it would be really dumb to post shit you think is safe from being taken. I also have enough common sense to not claim anything as my own because seriously, that’s dumbshit.  Ever checked out Google Image search? Click the camera icon in the search bar and you can upload or drag and drop or image link to find where else on this beautiful web your image is used. It’s fucking fantastical.

That all aside now, I believe grammar is important as much as mathematics and other academic studies. I am not nor do I think I will ever have perfect grammar, after all Crank Masta G has pointed out to me where I can learn the proper use of who or whom. I still don’t understand it and it was elementary level teaching. I do better when I have a live person showing me how something works versus trying to learn it myself. It’s a little funny because before she pointed it out to me ( I was using whom for everything ), I had stolen a book from the library and specifically looked up when to use who and whom and you know what? This textbook said that it has become so blurred that it doesn’t matter which you use, but if you start the article out with one continue using that one to be more cohesive. I reworded that, it was put much simpler, but this is me we are reading. Then it said when in doubt, go with formality meaning use whom.

Over the years the difference between who and whom has blurred. That sentence annoys me to no end. Next they are going to say your and you’re are blurred and to make the article less confusing, use your. People will get YOUR meaning on which one YOU’RE using based on the context of your sentence.

Do people notice the inflection between the two when the words are spoken? Your rhymes with Door. Your door is open. You can say the previous out loud to make sure I am correct. You’re rhymes with lure (give or take on your accent). Say it: You’re going to hand me that lure. That is one way to figure the difference if your primary way of learning is auditory. Or even secondary. Or even an ape. Apes are quick learners, no doubt.

I don’t understand articles and ENGLISH TEACHERS (they taught regular, that was the year I wanted to do less work and I regretted that. Honors was full so I couldn’t switch, and I was not teacher’s pet that year) that do not feel that spelling and grammar are important. Aren’t you curious why great literature is not younger than 50 (guessing, no research done on my part there) years old. The schools are still teaching the same literary works that my mother AND my mother’s mother were taught.

It greatly appalls me that education is becoming more and more slack. You have people believing that fundamental education is not important. I don’t understand why knowing

(x^2 – 16)(x – 3)^2 + 9x^2 = 0

is more important than being able to properly communicate through reading and writing. It’s laziness on everyone’s behalf.

On mathematics, my mother was livid when she saw I was learning simple math by using what they called “manipulatives” that I called “blocks”. Apparently when my mother went to school they used flash cards and taught the whole reason behind why the answer was what it was. Why did my school system do this? So they wouldn’t have to hold so many kids back. Little Tommy can’t figure out 2 + 3 equals so we may as well make teaching easier so we don’t have to put more effort in on teaching Little Tommy.

Simplifying the education one ascertains in childhood to college is not a good idea in support for the economy; local, national or global. Yes, you can blame the banks, Wall Street, BP oil, and/or giving-millions-to-other-nations-who(m?)-hate-our-guts-but-continue holding-their-hands-out for the U.S. economy being piss poor. But don’t forget to look at education. Don’t fail to see the dummies that are coming out of our school systems.

Obv. before 9/11, but still a valid truth.

Obv. before 9/11, but still a valid truth.

So for you people out their questioning the importance of grammar and spelling, they are fundamental to continuing education. Just as important as knowing 2+3 in order to know  (x^2 – 16)(x – 3)^2 + 9x^2 = 0.

Yes, janitor and trash pick-up jobs and all other jobs that do not require extensive spelling and grammar knowledge are important. I am not saying they aren’t. I am saying that Scientists, Writers, Educators, etc. who know the importance of fundamental education are extremely important. And to come out with a Teaching, English, or Journalism degree and say to a classroom full of high school kids that spelling is not important is absurd.

Also and lastly, you can learn spelling and basic grammar just by one simple thing, reading. Not reading on Facebook or personal blogs, but articles, magazines, books, and even newspapers/sites.

You’re doing it wrong!

Not Me

Look @ my bod, I workout!

This is an expert right here. Yes, I did just steal a Facebook ”Friend’s” photo off Facebook with her included message to post on my blog for anyone to see. Yes, it was marked friends only. But 2 things: I am not revealing her name nor am I going against any copyright law. She took the risk of posting to Facebook. With that aside…

So it was originally my belief that people joined and paid a monthly stipend for gyms to workout. Get fit. Exercise. Be healthy. I did not realize they paid to judge other people on attire and form and tattoos! Least we not forget the tattoos. Obviously people get tattoos just to impress others, or just this chick. It couldn’t possibly be anything more personal than that. They totally got the tattoo with just you in mind. Suffice to say, I’m not so impressed with your tattoo. Should you care? Not if you got it for the right reasons. Shouldn’t bother you a bit what I think.

Attire? Where’s your cute, impressive gym attire? I don’t see you donning any cute Fila, Adidas, or Nike wear. Just saying. You obviously believe people need to come to the gym to impress you. So why are you not impressed with those who are trying hard to workout? How dare they workout with A+ effort.

I am pretty sure the person with the poor form isn’t focusing on impressing you. They are doing it either the way it was taught to them, how others have proceeded to do it, trying to learn how to do it, or doing it that way because it’s what is comfortable to them.

Seems like Planet Fitness isn’t a good fit for you since it’s adamant about being a judgment-free zone. Maybe you belong at Gold’s … though they could very well judge you since you don’t look like you workout all that hard. Yeah, read the little comment where you talked of having been a member to many gyms. It doesn’t show.

Last little thing that bothers me, since you think what bothers you is so important, #hashtags are for Twitter, not Facebook. It would be understandable if you had your two accounts linked, but you posted this directly to Facebook so it looks dumb. I’m so not impressed.

God, that felt good. It’d feel better if I could make a snide remark to her, but I am a slight believer in that gangster motto, “If you don’t start no shit, there wouldn’t be no shit.” You have to choose your battles.

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