advising telling people how I think they should how to run their relationships with people, family, friends, and spouses. You come to me with an issue, or I beat it out of you, and my first line of advice command on how you should better handle it is communication. Tell the person how you feel, if they aren’t understanding look at how they communicate with you and emulate it back to them. If they are understanding and think you’re just plain wrong, step back and evaluate it thinking of it from their side and from there you come to compromise. A lot of people get confused with compromise thinking that it should always be a 50/50 split of sacrifice and gain, but that’s in a perfect world. Sometimes you will have to do that full back bend and they should understand the same of themselves.
I don’t follow my own advice. I know! It’s so shocking. I mean look at how intelligent and rational I am. What the hell is the matter with me? Besides too high of a self-esteem in random spurts. And a healthy dose of self-depreciation, sarcasm, bitterness, and verbal attackage to anyone whom says anything that I see as being critical of my persons since I lack the ability to differentiate between behavior/beliefs/thoughts and self. It’s not easy being
green me. Kermit, man, Kermit.
So as I was getting my workout on last night and thinking about Miss Flighty, it came to me that I had given her details about what happened over my holiday. Details I shall never share with this blog because it not only shames me, but my entire family and although I sometimes have the deepest desires to just runaway from the looniness that is my family, I still love them and wouldn’t want to harm them. So what I told her was very personal. It struck me last night that she talks shit about Miss Fallout to me along with also talking ill about her mother, her father, her baby’s dad, her brother, and her sister and Ivan (the guy who molested me several years ago and attempted rape on Miss Flighty). Miss flighty is always talking about people not respecting her, yet she talks about how she has such little to no respect for them. I know things about Miss Fallout I know I shouldn’t. Her telling me a very intimate detail about Miss Fallout’s boyfriend leads me to know for certain that she has told Miss Fallout and most likely her sister about what I confided in to her.
I also know with certainty she would lie about it if I came out and asked her. So instead I posted this on Facebook for her to see:
How do I end up with such shit friends? It must be me. I don’t know if I have unrealistic expectations of people I invite into my fucked up world or if I am a magnet for the assholes. All I want is for someone to care, value, and appreciate me as much as I do them. In my mind that’s not too much to ask for. I even told that to Miss Flighty. I watched her kid for free twice this last week and let her use my lap top on 2 different occasions so she said to me the other night, “You’re such a good friend, I don’t know how I can repay you.” I simply replied, “Just be a good friend.” I also made a crack that she’d start hanging out with Miss Fallout more when Miss Fallout was available and I’d be in the dust and she hesitated for a half a minute before shaking her head. I call bullshit.