I Should be Sleeping

Why does it feel like yesterday when in reality I’ve been without you for at least 6 years? Why do I continue to produce tears when something reminds me of you? Why does the thought of you make me feel like only a cigarette can calm me down? I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of this. I didn’t think experiencing a first true love would ever scar me like this. Why does it seem like everyone else who have had firsts healed better than this? I have had relationships since you, I have told them I loved them. Was I really lying? I suck at lying so it seems more bizarre.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
I hate you for this.
But maybe it’s me I hate.
For being up so late.
Indulging in these feelings for you.
When you’re probably sleeping.

I should be sleeping, too.

Back to Back Awards, w00t!

So I had just gotten home from Alice’s when I logged onto thee WordPress and received notification that the ever so kind Not Quite Alice* who loverly gave a nomination to me for Blog of the Year (2012) Award. She’s really a lovely girl and each post she writes is with such emotion that whatever she conveys in that post, you can feel to. It’s more than just relatable. She could seriously be complaining why the sky has to be blue and you will find yourself as angry about it as she is. Though, to be honest, she has never complained about the sky. But if she had, now you know how you’d feel, too. See what I did there?

OFFICIAL BLOG OF THE YEAR (2012) RULES

1 Select the blog(s) you think deserve the ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award

2 Write a blog post and tell us about the blog(s) you have chosen – there’s no minimum or maximum number of blogs required – and ‘present’ them with their award.

3 Please include a link back to this page ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award – 
http://thethoughtpalette.co.uk/our-awards/blog-of-the-year-2012-award/
   
and include these ‘rules’ in your post (please don’t alter the rules or the badges!)

4 Let the blog(s) you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the ‘rules’ with them

5 You can now also join our Facebook group – click ‘like’ on this page ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award Facebook group and then you can share your blog with an even wider audience

6 As a winner of the award – please add a link back to the blog that presented you with the award – and then proudly display the award on your blog and sidebar … and start collecting stars…

PEOPLE CHEAT SO HERE ARE THE UNOFFICIAL RULES WHICH ARE VERY SIMILAR TO SUNSHINE BLOG AWARD RULES

Blog the Year (2012) Blogger Award Rules

  1. Display the award logo on your blog.
  2. Link back to the person who nominated you.  (check, check, check it out)
  3. State 5 things about yourself. (it’s below)
  4. Pass the award onto random other bloggers and link to one of their specific posts so that they get notified by ping back (that will come give it time)
  5. Link back to the Blog of the Year 2012 Rules page so people can read the real, complete, and fully accurate rules of this slightly-different blogger award   (Copy and paste are my friends) 

Things you’ve been dying to know.

  1. I was addicted to cocaine for a bit. Fun times, but I wouldn’t do it again.
  2. I was a huge pot head from the age of 14 until just this year. It increased after the “incident”.
  3. I’ve never thought I’d like cats, but I find myself more curious since I’m no longer allergic. Downfalls? Litter boxes and sharp little claws.
  4. I hate hamburger meat in spaghetti. Italian sausage only.
  5. I’m falling out of love with hamburger, steak, chicken drumsticks and pork chops. Brace yourself. I can only get down half a piece of bacon before I don’t want it anymore. Maybe my body is going through its own natural selection and wants only veggies, tofu and sushi/sashimi.

My Carefully Selected Nominees:

Tracy Fulks: Her dry, sarcastic wit with such imagination behind it all leaves me gobsmacked. I did a double backflip when she once told Le Clown that he brightened her day like Monistat to a yeast infection. I will never stop bringing that up, Tracy. She has been through a lot and is real about it. She is not afraid to tell her stories and experiences and has the natural ability to throw humor into them if need be. Or if she just wants to. Tracy, I am happy to know the monkey’s off your back. Truly. Thank you for gracing us with your motherfucking presence.

Le Clown: He doesn’t need this award, he gets praised enough and if you’d told me 2-3 weeks ago I’d be gracing him with a nomination I would have told you that you’re bat shit crazy and get the hell out of here. I first heard about Le Clown when he was featured on the Daily Post with I think 10 questions. His responses were humorous so I liked him. So I clicked to check out his blog and basically took in the layout before the Seroquel was knocking me out. I forgot about him until I started really blogging and he was fucking everywhere! Needless to say, I felt like he was being shoved down my throat like politicians are during election year. I begin regurgitating when this happens. It turned into like, hate, love relationship, very one sided–my side, until I actually got to kind of know him. I forgive him of his Megalomania and we’re cool. His blog is awesome and he does a lot with the community and Movember and he doesn’t act like a cock and ignore you when you comment, he really replies. He’s a good lad. End story.

Teeny Bikini: She’s funny. She has Jiggly Bits. She makes lists. She’s had limited uneventful sexual encounters. She gives excellent advice. You should just check her out. If you don’t like her what are you doing HERE?

Michelle W.: Read her. I have no words for her. She is an acquired taste, but once you’ve acquired it there will be no going back. She’s the north to my south.

___________________

*Alice and Not Quite Alice are 2 very different people. Other words, no relation.

Who me? Couldn’t be.

I swear I didn’t touch the damn cookies. What crumbs on my mouth? Bugger off, I have an award ceremony to participate in. Oh? You don’t believe me, you say? Take a seat, rest your bum. Stay with me for some fun.

Rarasaur, yes, Rarasaur nominated me ever so sweetly for the Sunshine Blog Award. I think you get to make up your own reasons why you carefully selected your nominees. All I know is I felt all melty inside when she used the terms ‘witty’, ‘fierce’ and ‘insightful’ in relation to me, CB or Sarah. I’m still awestruck. If you haven’t read her hilarious blog, you are truly missing out. So if you get bored with award ceremonies, this is your chance to dip out and go see her. She’s effing fabulous. As noted, here and here, but you must read more in order to truly take in the essence that is Rara.

Sunshine Blogger Award Rules

  1. Display the award logo on your blog.
  2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
  3. State 5 things about yourself.
  4. Pass the award onto 6 other bloggers and link to one of their specific posts so that they get notified by ping back.

Five Things About Me:

  1. I quit smoking cigarettes on 4/20 which is affectionately known as National Smoke Out Day for pot heads.
  2. I don’t like apologies so I don’t give them that much. I am combative, but I won’t say something I don’t mean. Apologies are similar to lies in my head. You call me a cunt. You obviously meant it when you said it or you wouldn’t have said it. Saying, “Sorry, I didn’t mean it” is bullshit. You said it, you meant it, will you think I am again? Maybe you will or won’t. Will you learn not to call me it again? Yes, but don’t apologize about saying it in the first place. You still felt that way. Sorry fixes nothing, it’s a Band-Aid without the Neosporin.
  3. I love hearing ranting; comedians, friends, neurotic squirrels.
  4. I was so infatuated with Ellen DeGeneres at one point I considered going lez. Yeah, I realized then and right away sexuality was not a “lifestyle choice.”
  5. I always wanted to be a fag hag. That sounds fucked. Have they come out with a politically correct term for that yet? I want a male gay best friend. I wanted one before Sex and the City so don’t think that spooled it, it just fueled it when that show came about.

I hereby pass this award onto these 6 bloggers:

Rohan7things: For being really smart and artsy. I like smart and artsy.

http://rohan7things.wordpress.com/2012/11/29/easiest-way-to-quit-smoking-give-up-shut-up/

MySpokenHeart: Her name says it all. She’s beautiful. Need I say more?

http://myspokenheart.wordpress.com/2012/11/27/need-vs-love/

CrimsonOwl63: Her words are honest and her stories and feelings relatable. I will always read.

http://crimsonowl63.wordpress.com/2012/11/26/a-few-days-off/

Jet: She’s strong. Intelligent. Keeps her head up for herself and her girls. Is my parenting role model.

http://sustainablysingleparenting.wordpress.com/2012/11/28/its-almost-time/

Fictional Machines: Talk about talented. I don’t know if he does blog awards, I’d be shocked if he did, but he deserves this as his writing is a-mazing!

http://fictionalmachines.com/2012/11/25/progression-40/

RightToBitch: Adam S., curator of the blog, I met through the link below. We are best friends. Stay tuned for our Happily Ever After.

http://righttobitch.com/2012/11/21/art-blogging-vs-conversational-blogging/

*CrankyGiraffe: She is smart, funny and not afraid to show her vulnerable side.

http://crankygiraffe.wordpress.com/2012/11/26/it-comes-with-the-territory/

*I can cheat as I am special. Love, Peace & Happy Treez. ^_^

Blogging feedback, friendships and life as art - with jokes about poo.

Reblogged from ruleofstupid:

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I don't do this very often but I'm going to write something serious. Don't worry, I've dotted scatological humour throughout :)

I've written rantingly about this before, but CBabe has raised the subject again and it put me in mind of some thoughts I had before, but which were all sincere and not funny!

Should we write critically about other people's posts?

Read more… 1,136 more words

Keep in mind that this is similar to reading a novella. Luckily he writes well. Or she. I saw Catfish. Look up Catfish if you've not heard of it. Scary shiz. Or just really strange. Trust no one on the internet! OK End here. xo

Being Bipolar

Reblogged from Black Box Warnings:

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(A heartfelt thanks to Le Clown for allowing me to guest blog on Black Box Warnings. Please visit my blog, "Journey with Julia" at: http://wp.me/p2ckKM-mM .)

* * *

I’m bipolar.

But, don’t worry. You can’t catch it.

Bipolar disorder is a psychiatric disorder (also called Manic Depressive Disorder), that causes my moods to swing between really high and really low, to a degree that interferes with my daily functioning and quality of life.

Read more… 950 more words

You ought to know.