That’s the only lyric I know from that metal song that plays in my brain like an earworm on crack and conjures images of old Beavis and Butthead episodes.
I was 15 years old when what I am about to tell you occurred. I was a good kid, straight A student. I don’t know what happened.*
Greg was a good friend of mine and he was hot. I don’t know about you, but to me at that age: Good Friend + Hella Hott = Crush. He was tall with blue-green eyes and dirty blonde hair that he would gel into messy spikes. He had a tongue piercing, he was troubled like me, didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought of him. He was a bad boy. A bad boy and a good person. I could talk to him about anything and was welcome to come over when I wanted, he only lived a house over from me.
I was hanging out with a ginger named Jes. She was a good friend. She knew I liked Greg so I introduced them and we all hung out together. She was a good friend until she started dating Greg. Greg didn’t know I was crushing on him, but that didn’t make me any less territorial. I explained that to Jes, but why would she care? She didn’t even know him as well as I did. All of this doesn’t excuse what I did though.
It was the first week of October. I know this because Jes’ birthday is the 4th, mine the 5th and after school on the 6th Greg and I hooked up. I broke a rule, a rule that involved friendship and hurt feelings. She had only been dating him a couple of weeks, but this was pretty low. What’s worse? I didn’t care then because she knew how I felt about him before she pursued him, and I don’t care so much now either. I know what I did was wrong, but I don’t regret it.
I am one of the very few people I know that doesn’t regret how she gave up her virginity. Looking back, 15 is so young. I wouldn’t want to think of my (future) daughter even being felt up at that age, but that’s what happened and I wouldn’t change it.
So I was an adulterer at 15, but I have never had any inclination whatsoever to hook up with any man who’s already in a relationship. No matter how hot they are. I’ll never be the other woman and I would never cheat. You could think less of me, but realize I was a kid when this went down.
In high school you are trying to figure out who you are, not realizing you may not discover that until you are in college or the working world. You are going to break hearts, hurt feelings, get ridiculously drunk at parties, maybe try some dope, possibly have sex, find best friends, become worst enemies, then best friends again. Nothing is off-limits and the façade your child wears around you may completely be different from what they show their friends. She/he could be a straight A good kid and getting high and meeting boys/girls behind your back.
My mom and I had excellent communication when I was growing up. So much so that I felt guilty for having had sex and I wrote her a letter about it. I also always was the kid that if I lied, not 5 minutes later I’d go to her room to confess that I lied.
I am not a rule breaker, but that is one thing I did that broke the rule of friendship. I lived, I loved, I learned and came out pretty much unscathed. It was high school.
*Sentence from an old ant-drug commercial that I can’t find on youtube.
- Women and Relationships Days 8-9 Female Friendships (gwenrelationshipsstartwithyou.wordpress.com)
- Single People Are Not the Enemy (singlewhitechristian.wordpress.com)
- The Secret to Facebook Happiness Is Killing Friendships (gizmodo.com)
- Is It Alright To Break-up With A Friend? (myfairdiary.wordpress.com)
- Friend Chemistry (muffinsandmocha.wordpress.com)