Rarely do I ever preface any of my posts because I am opinionated and most of the time don’t care the consequence for my actions. I like hearing people who think differently than me. I learn and grow from it sometimes. I just want to say that this post will be triggering to former users and drinkers. I have a lot of people who I care about, aside from my father, that I wouldn’t ever want to harm. So I warn you, most likely you’re going to be offended by my thoughts. Do realize that I wrote in general and I know not every former user or drinker is alike.
Which is worse: Being a drug addict or an alcoholic? That’s a silly question, but it’s on my mind.
I have seen drug addicts, not abusers, addicts completely recover*. In a sense I find it easier for them to do so because it’s a lifestyle change. You stop hanging with that crowd and with nonusers you can maintain a normal lifestyle mostly free of temptation.
Alcoholics? Not so much. It’s not as taboo for the average adult to say, “We’re going out for drinks.” No one takes a second glance to that. Alcoholics have many circles, not really until they hit AA do they mingle with other alcoholics openly. Before, they were all hanging at the bar under the assumption that it was all normal and social behavior to drink.
We don’t break out the cocaine nose jobs for holidays. I mean in a cultural sense. You don’t see commercials from cocaine connoisseurs advertising the best powder for the occasion. Drugs are very prevalent in our society, no doubt about that, but people still get a little shocked when their assumptions about a person being a user are confirmed. It’s taboo. Unless you are a part of the user society, it’s not of the norm.
What is an alcoholic going to say to their best friend? Their brother or sister? Their mom or dad? Sorry guys, you can’t drink around me. Nah, seeing you enjoy that tasty margarita doesn’t bother me. Go ahead and crack that bottle, I’m cool over here. With my soda. Plain. Soda.
My father hit rock bottom* in 1995/96. He lost his career, his family, his house. Everything. He went to AA, was sober for about 2/3 years. My mom took him back. Stopped going to AA when he moved in with us. Claimed he didn’t need it. A few years ago he starts sneaking alcohol. He was a beer drinker, but the only alcohol to be had in the house was my mom’s vodka. She blamed my sister for drinking it.
He’s at a pool hall right now drinking. We’re in the same predicament we were in back in 1995.
There’s a supposed gene for alcoholism. I’m not sure I’d believe it with the facts in front of my face. Out of all addictions, alcohol addiction has to be riddled with more excuses than anything. Last thing we need is the, “I can’t help it, it’s genetic.” Don’t we get enough with blaming parents and childhood and incidences we haphazardly got ourselves into as a teenager?
I’m sick of pop-psychology. When is it that people are going to own up to their downfalls? You want to talk about coping mechanisms? Maybe you shouldn’t have chosen to pick up the bottle or the crack pipe. Maybe you should have gained a little control over your curiosity of wanting to experience that high.
You made a choice. Nobody on God‘s green earth ever told you life is fair. A lot of people get the shit end of the sticks in life. & when you make a choice you are taking responsibility for yourself. The anger addicts have that they won’t admit to a lot of the time, is the anger with themselves. They chose to use over caring for their family. They chose to go out and get shit faced instead of coming home to a home-cooked meal and to spend quality time with their wife and children. They tell themselves they are angry with God, work, friends, relationships, family, etc. Nothing is spared blame in the eyes of a user.
Except themselves.
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*Recovery? Rock bottom? Disease? All pop-psychology terms to make one feel better about themselves. Well, I am sorry. I feel more sympathy for a cancer patient than I do a user. Addiction is not a disease. It’s not addiction you need to fight. It’s you. Rock bottom? That’s death.
To answer your question of which is worse drug addict or alcoholic…..I’m not sure. I am both. Not active anymore, but both none the less. My father was alcoholic. He warned me of the perils of the drink. I CHOSE to drink anyway. Genetic? Don’t know don’t care. I was at fault for my addiction(s). I am fighting them and so far I’m coming out ahead (6 years). Being angry with your Father is understandable. I get that completely. But there are things that work to help persons who want help with what you won’t call a disease. It is their choice whether they choose to stick with it or not. Much like the cancer patient who refuses to take any more chemo. They are just tired of being tired.
Unfortunately it’s useless to be angry with an addict/alcoholic. I gave up years ago. I was disappointed he started again, but not shocked.
Oh and comparing a cancer patient who is tired of poisoning themselves to rid the cancer and is ready to just give up is a lot different than an addict/alcoholic giving up on being a nonuser. The cancer patient didn’t choose to have cancer.
It was a bad comparison. I used it only because my Dad got gave up booze for the last 14 years of his life. During his final 3 years he found out he had prostate cancer. He decided to stop chemo when It was only prolonging the inevitable. He subsequently died within months after stopping. I make no excuse for my past choices. Fact is, misuse and continual use of drugs and alcohol alter the brain chemistry turning a choice of want into need. Without help, fighting the need is a lost cause.
I’m sorry you lost your father in that manner.
I do agree help is needed, I just think pop-psych is more of a hindrance than a help. Addiction is not a disease. To think that way not only gives an excuse to users and drinkers, but takes the blame out of how and why it became so.
This may be an odd correlation, which do you have more sympathy for, a soldier wounded in combat or a soldier who shot himself in the foot to get out of combat?
I’d have more sympathy for the addict who could own up, realize they are not battling a disease. One not riddled with excuses. An addiction is created, not born unto.
I chose to use cocaine as an example in this post because that was my drug of choice. I used that in combination with marijuana for sleep and Adderall for work. I ended up entering psychosis and went through massive withdrawal, no one knew I was a user other than the man I used with. When I became well, I no longer was in contact with that man, supply cut and dry. For me, I have to go cold turkey. I did it with that, I did it with cigarettes this year. I quit marijuana for good just 6 months ago. I’ve worked in Pharmacy going on 8 years. My opinion is that addicts make the world go round, just like money. If people were told they could rid the addiction by a hospital stay and losing the way to obtain the drugs, it wouldn’t be such a long process to be clean. It wouldn’t take several thousands of dollars for expensive rehab clinics. People wouldn’t feel sorry for themselves and excusing their behaviors as addicts. Pop-psychology is just like “Big Pharma” All about money, less about actual care.
Just my background and 2 cents.
In response to your question. The one wounded in combat was injured doing the job he/she signed up for. The one injuring themselves did so to get out of the job they signed up for. I don’t think anyone should sign up for military service unless 100% sure they know what they are signing up for…..mentally and physically.
As a former lover of cocaine. I know about the withdrawals and psychosis. Been there done that.
We live in a quick fix society. Sympathy is the norm. Rehabs are money machines, but they do aid in recovery if wanted.
I disagree. I have never met one who was drug-free that did so by a rehab. Usually my rehab friends relapsed — often. It’s all relative I suppose. I don’t agree with pop-psych’s philosophy on addiction is what it all boils down to. Just like not all Psychologists/therapists/psychiatrists agree with Freud. Psychology is more art than science.
Well….you do now. 😁
& I hope it maintains so. I hope you prove me wrong. My father’s father was entering 18 years sobriety before he picked up the bottle again. I hope for you and your family, you’re not part of that statistic.
Lastly, congrats on 6 years of sobriety. May you keep it up. Thanks for dropping by and inserting your 2 cents, I like that shit. I’m CB and it’s nice to meet you. (This may have been more of an after thought rather than a continuation…)
I am Michael. Nice to argue with you.
your honesty and the fire that comes out when you write is impressive, refreshing and much appreciated. I will be back to visit again. On fact, I will follow so I don’t miss anything.
Aww shucks! I’m blushing now. Haha
Thank you for such grand compliments. I think I’ll head over and check your little place on the web out, too. 