Rarely do I ever preface any of my posts because I am opinionated and most of the time don’t care the consequence for my actions. I like hearing people who think differently than me. I learn and grow from it sometimes. I just want to say that this post will be triggering to former users and drinkers. I have a lot of people who I care about, aside from my father, that I wouldn’t ever want to harm. So I warn you, most likely you’re going to be offended by my thoughts. Do realize that I wrote in general and I know not every former user or drinker is alike.
Which is worse: Being a drug addict or an alcoholic? That’s a silly question, but it’s on my mind.
I have seen drug addicts, not abusers, addicts completely recover*. In a sense I find it easier for them to do so because it’s a lifestyle change. You stop hanging with that crowd and with nonusers you can maintain a normal lifestyle mostly free of temptation.
Alcoholics? Not so much. It’s not as taboo for the average adult to say, “We’re going out for drinks.” No one takes a second glance to that. Alcoholics have many circles, not really until they hit AA do they mingle with other alcoholics openly. Before, they were all hanging at the bar under the assumption that it was all normal and social behavior to drink.
We don’t break out the cocaine nose jobs for holidays. I mean in a cultural sense. You don’t see commercials from cocaine connoisseurs advertising the best powder for the occasion. Drugs are very prevalent in our society, no doubt about that, but people still get a little shocked when their assumptions about a person being a user are confirmed. It’s taboo. Unless you are a part of the user society, it’s not of the norm.
What is an alcoholic going to say to their best friend? Their brother or sister? Their mom or dad? Sorry guys, you can’t drink around me. Nah, seeing you enjoy that tasty margarita doesn’t bother me. Go ahead and crack that bottle, I’m cool over here. With my soda. Plain. Soda.
My father hit rock bottom* in 1995/96. He lost his career, his family, his house. Everything. He went to AA, was sober for about 2/3 years. My mom took him back. Stopped going to AA when he moved in with us. Claimed he didn’t need it. A few years ago he starts sneaking alcohol. He was a beer drinker, but the only alcohol to be had in the house was my mom’s vodka. She blamed my sister for drinking it.
He’s at a pool hall right now drinking. We’re in the same predicament we were in back in 1995.
There’s a supposed gene for alcoholism. I’m not sure I’d believe it with the facts in front of my face. Out of all addictions, alcohol addiction has to be riddled with more excuses than anything. Last thing we need is the, “I can’t help it, it’s genetic.” Don’t we get enough with blaming parents and childhood and incidences we haphazardly got ourselves into as a teenager?
I’m sick of pop-psychology. When is it that people are going to own up to their downfalls? You want to talk about coping mechanisms? Maybe you shouldn’t have chosen to pick up the bottle or the crack pipe. Maybe you should have gained a little control over your curiosity of wanting to experience that high.
You made a choice. Nobody on God‘s green earth ever told you life is fair. A lot of people get the shit end of the sticks in life. & when you make a choice you are taking responsibility for yourself. The anger addicts have that they won’t admit to a lot of the time, is the anger with themselves. They chose to use over caring for their family. They chose to go out and get shit faced instead of coming home to a home-cooked meal and to spend quality time with their wife and children. They tell themselves they are angry with God, work, friends, relationships, family, etc. Nothing is spared blame in the eyes of a user.
*Recovery? Rock bottom? Disease? All pop-psychology terms to make one feel better about themselves. Well, I am sorry. I feel more sympathy for a cancer patient than I do a user. Addiction is not a disease. It’s not addiction you need to fight. It’s you. Rock bottom? That’s death.