Who’s Built This Maniac?

I’m relieved that they didn’t ask which 5 people currently in my life do I spend the most time with because, I’ll be honest, I don’t like to think any of my average includes Alice. Maybe it really includes Molly and Matt and Alice just happens to be their mother. So we will nicely continue on with those I would spend most of my time with if I could.

Heather Armstrong “Dooce” at Books Inc (Photo credit: rickbucich)

Heather B. Armstrong of Dooce:  If you’ve been following my blog, you saw this coming. She started her site in 2001 and I found her round-about that time. I don’t even know how. All I remember are posts like this & this that as silly as they are I will never forget. She had me at Cereal, that terrible soap opera I was addicted to Passions and dreaming about Rod Stewart in inappropriate positions — who does that? Obviously her. She also questions pickles, if Liam Gallagher will ever love her, what the hell a wonderwall is. Through her site and ALL the years I have been reading her, I have cried with her, laughed with her, been awed by her, shocked by her, loved her, I’ve never hated her. I questioned those who did. I remember when she was first testing out ads on her site. There was a freaking pitch-fork posse that was so angered and calling her a sellout and everything. It was ridiculous. I’ve watched her go from ultrasensitive to some of the email and post mail she received from people who didn’t even know her. But words are like that, they can harm complete strangers. To the sarcastic comebacks that she nailed them with in her own posts, sharing their emails word for word. I often wondered what those people thought to see their words being torn apart by her fans, people who’ve always rooted for her. I saw her marriage to Jon Armstrong, elopement at Yellowstone. I read the post on his and her sites this month that couldn’t not break your heart as they were ending their 10 year marriage. Yes, they separated sometime around January of this year, but I was still rooting for them. He moved out, but I was still rooting for them. I don’t love Heather because she is famous. I don’t love her because she nailed a spot only 25 spots behind Oprah in Fortune 500′s top women in Media. I don’t love her because she makes enough money from her site and company that affords her that lovely house and 2 employees and 2 dogs and 2 kids. I love Heather for a simple reason: because she is who she is and will admit when she is wrong and that she is human and has faults, too. I’m one of those annoying snob-like yuppies that will tell you, I knew and liked her before she was famous.

Tragic Kingdom (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Gwen Stefani of No Doubt: I didn’t know of her before she was famous, no. She came into my world well after Trapped in a Box. She came into my life in Tragic Kingdom. Yes, the album that every little girl in those days rocked out to Just A Girl. She came out like a force of nature, similar to that of Madonna. She has her own style that morphs beautifully and I didn’t know she was 40 until my mom told me. I don’t know what I was thinking, but it’s like she’s one of those celebrities that never seems to age. I heard 40 and I was like Damn! I hope I look that good in 13 years. She loves Japan and I think that’s another reason I love her. I have a fondness for Asian people. Check out the movies Nana and Nana II. I don’t know much besides that other than she is married to the hottest guy Gavin Rosedale whom I’ve been crushing on since Glycerin. They make beautiful babies.

Those were the main contenders. The next 3 are going to be pretty swift.

Carrie Bradshaw: This character would be my absolute dream. Funnily enough all of my friends say personality wise I am more like Miranda. I just want to be a writer, columnist preferably and be able to work wherever I am. Big dreams.

Alexandra: My real-life friend. She is beautiful, talented, intelligent. Like Stefani, she made the most adorable little baby. She works hard and she is going to go far. I love her dearly and I am glad we’ve reconnected again. We’ve always come and gone with one another, but such is life. We always pick up where we left off.

Dear Mama: Last, but never least. She made me and the more time I am able to spend with her, the more I am able to know her as not just my mom, but as who she is without that title. It’s also funny to see how much of me truly is a lot of her. She’s always been my rock and even at times when I am spitting nails mad at her, I love her too much to ever show it. Plus, I think she got enough of it when I was an adolescent.

 The title of the post is a lyric in No Doubt’s song New off their album Return of Saturn.