I Can’t Be With You. I’m Discovering New Music.

i want to do with you what spring does with the cherry cheese? isn’t that how it goes? (Photo credit: jamelah)

I have a fantastic memory for sequential numbers. Tell me a number to remember while you’re doing your bills, a phone number to remember that someone is reciting to you from the phone and you lack a pen and paper. Before cell phones, I knew every phone number to every friend’s house. I am a social butterfly, so that indeed was a lot of numbers. Ask me to give a chronological form of events from a certain time period of my life and I will fail miserably. I remember events and people in relation to. I know I discovered Breaking Benjamin through Jorge’s sister. With Jorge I was introduced to Tech 9. I know I discovered Metric the time I was dating Jorge. I know I watched the movie Garden State with Myra when we were friends. I know I was with Catreena when I first heard the song Earthquake by Lil’ Wayne. I listened to Orgy, Garbage, No Doubt, Placebo, HIM all around the times I knew Greg, Cassie, David, Trisha, and Lou. I introduced Erykah Badu to Brianna when I was listening to her, The Fugees, Common, The Roots, Tupac, Marley, etc.

Ask me the years of the times and I would have to think about it and narrow it down to possibly “these years” and usually I would be off. In the late 80′s and 90′s about thanks to MTV and my sister I remember Madonna, Mariah Carey, PM Dawn, Boyz II Men, MC Hammer, Salt N’ Pepa, La Bouche, En Vogue, Ace of Base, and many more.

Some artists and songs I have a hard time listening to because they take me back to times I don’t want to relive. That techno song Castles in the Sky comes on and I want to hurl. I was rolling for the first time one night and they looped that song the entire time. I am not a fan of drugs that take over my body and mind. It freaks me out and I think I am going to die. I’m not yet OK with dying so until I am, I want to maintain living.

This time in my life I want to discover new music on my own volition. Yes, I have friendships in my life now, like Alice, but I want to be without major strings like boyfriends attached or people I can easily no longer consider a part of my life. So I am going to discover new music on my own and share it only with myself.

I want music that only relates to me, my thoughts, my emotions, my everything. That may seem impossible to others, but I like impossible. My childhood friend in Virginia, Tasha, we used to play a game called “The Impossible!” on the neighborhood playground that was a lot like “Lava” except you weren’t really trying to catch one another and you could only place your feet on the slides and rails, never on the brown floor.

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