Anything your heart desires will come to you.
Do not get me wrong, I am honored in the utmost regard to have one of my meek posts Freshly Pressed. I am writing this now and it has maybe been up for like 10 minutes which is humorous and possibly a bit pathetic. Eh.
I have owned a plenty amount of Blogs in my years here on this earth, all starting with Live Journal. I think I was 16 when I started my first. You can imagine the boy problems, school issues, insurmountable obligations that plague the mind of a 16 year old girl. It was some deep shit. Since then I have been making and dropping Blogs like… well like I do.
I will either get bored, be embarrassed of some of the topics I wrote about or thought or felt. If you’ve been reading my Blog, I have a tag, “girl garbage”. Used only for posts I’m not to sure I’m going to want to look at 6 months from now. Click the tag and BAM! Delete, delete, delete.
This Blog didn’t start any different than any of my others. One small difference might be the name I chose. I really like CombatBabe and I only have Metric to thank. Their ‘Combat Baby’ I would listen to a lot when I was in college—and if you haven’t heard it, YouTube now, I’ll wait. Jorge, the love of my life, was my Combat Baby in a sense that we were quick tempered and usually argumentative. We fought as hard as we loved and we loved as hard as we fought. As I have gotten older, I realize I am that way with everyone.
Jen and Tonic had a post and she asked to list in the comments five things you love about yourself. Forgetting I had gotten the email about being Freshly Pressed, I nailed 5 things relatively easy:
1- I am not just honest, I am brutally honest. Some people don’t like it and I don’t blame them because everyone of us sometimes only wants to hear what we want to hear. I’m not mean, I just will tell you exactly how I feel or think about something. Sometimes it’s asked for and sometimes I just give it. But I accept that about me.
2- I will still love you if you do/are doing something that goes against my grain. If you are in love with a person whom I think is bad for you I will not fault you, but I will not let you complain or talk about them to me. It’s your bed, you lie in it. If you are stripping or selling yourself, I will whole-heartedly disapprove, but you’ll still be my friend. You may drive me bat shit crazy, but my love is unconditional.
3- I put others before myself always. Most see this as a fault if they do it, too. I don’t. I may get hurt, I may get burned, but I survive and if I can help you or try to help when you don’t want it, I will.
4- I have an internal pretentiousness. It may be considered egocentric, I try not to show it. I can spot it quickly in others and it will actually turn me off about them, one of those catch 22s. I try to be humble, but I know I am intelligent. I can read people easily, I can advise people with a finesse and will only lack confidence when I come across something I don’t know or I hit an anxiety/depression spell.
5- I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. This doesn’t mean I don’t envy those who are not Bipolar, believe me I do. But I look at my disorder as a gift and I think it gives me more compassion towards others. I’ve gone full blown psychotic twice from mania and any kind of negative human experience that others are going through or have already went through, I want to reach out and hold their hand. Metaphorically and with words because I am a weirdo about touching and hugging and the like.
Focus on #4: I will lack confidence only if it’s something I don’t know (Avant-garde of the Apprehensive) or I hit an anxiety/depression spell. CUE the ANXIETY!
I didn’t think I would ever be chosen to be Freshly Pressed and I say this with sincerity. Did I want it? Yes. But I didn’t let myself want it enough to be disappointed if it never happened.
I’m grateful that my piece was recognized by WordPress editors. I couldn’t feel more enamored with everyone who Blogs here and the WordPress Blogging platform, community and the people behind it all.
My anxiety rises with the piece itself. It’s not a touching personal story, it’s my opinionated thoughts on a possibly touchy topic. I didn’t even follow the prompt that inspired it other than the simple fact that I kept it in opinion form.
This will be a true test to see how well I can follow the accepting criticism as equally as accepting praise paradigm. After all, I am combative as I explicitly state in my chosen name, ‘about what’ page, and ‘do you miss my all time lows?’ and probably most every post. I like to make sure my warning is heard.
I like controversy, I like hearing other people’s opinions, I like discussions, debates, etc. I just hope I can handle this with finesse. I don’t want to feel hurt by a criticism and react in anger or make someone feel like there opinion is unwarranted. I put myself out there, WordPress just nudged me a little further.
New readers I welcome, readers who’ve been following I enjoy and appreciate you. Let’s keep on keeping on. And again, thank you.
Congratulations on being freshly pressed. You deserve it. Love your blog. Keep going.
Thank you!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed, and thanks for the mention.
I loved this post, and I think it’s timely considering you have a bunch of new readers. It’s a very honest way of letting them get to know you.
Thanks! And don’t mention it.
“I didn’t think I would ever be chosen to be Freshly Pressed and I say this with sincerity. Did I want it? Yes. But I didn’t let myself want it enough to be disappointed if it never happened.”
I felt exactly the same way, but I feel like you’ve said it much better than I did! You have a great writing style and I appreciate your honesty, sincerity, and sarcasm… I’m off to see what post got you freshly pressed! Congratulations!
Oh my! You have me feeling all bashful. Thank you sooo much, I must check your blog out now.
You make a good point here. I noticed some of your comments were like – wtf? Did they actually read the post you wrote? I kind of wonder about some of the people who just automatically like, comment, or follow on freshly pressed posts. Not that it wasn’t a good post, but so were a lot of others you wrote. Weird, isn’t it? Proud to say I followed you having no idea you’d been pressed.
I’ve given up on the FP thing. It is hard, though, to see others recognized all around you, even though you are proud of them. I think that’s the thing – just wanting the recognition. Not even the gobs of followers or comments or whatever. Just being recognized. In some ways, I wish I had never found out about freshly pressed. You’re right -if you think on it too much, it can take the joy out of writing.
I’m glad you were recognized and I’m glad didn’t let it go to your head. Congrats.
Aww dear Alice. I am shocked that YOU haven’t been FP. I am going to go to wordpress about this because you are very deserving. I love your writings. And I too wonder about people liking FP posts, you start to catch a pattern of seeing the same people liking each post and it’s like, “did they read it or is this self promotion?” lol Feels that way sometimes. If I like something, it’s definitely because I actually read it. Seriously. I am going to put you front and center of these WP editors and let the, know what’s up. I do really love your writing style and reading what you have to say.
Aw, thanks, Combat Babe, but it’s okay, really. I do get recognition – like the kind you just gave me – from followers and friends, which should be more important than some WP nod. In fact, it was your comment that helped me slap back up the post that I had originally censored. Thanks. I’m actually planning on taking a blogging break to get my head back on straight.
I agree about the self-promotion, and admit that I’ve done it myself. Ugh. I am the same way – I only like if I actually like, and I try to comment if I have time. You know who my favorite commenter on your FP post was? The Real Journalist who felt she had to hand slap you on your blog. Lmao.
Yes, you are completely right, fellow blogger recognition does feel the best. & I understand taking breaks, I have had to derail myself quite a bit in the last decade that I’ve been playing blogger, not to mention Facebook. It gets kind of addicting to want to be heard in a world where sometimes very few listen. I do hope it won’t be a long break, though. As for The Real Journalist I don’t know if it’s my bad memory or I missed the comment, but now I definitely have to go back and see it, hahaha.
And we all do self-promotion, we kind of have to since we don’t have people who can do it for us — hehe.